Worst writer's block ever

I dunno what happened, but the second those pregnancy hormones rushed into my system my ability to write anything fancier than a snarky email response simply dried up. Poof. Perhaps all my creative energy was being spent on creating a new life (how cheesy is that) or maybe I just threw up one too many times during the first 20 weeks to find the time or strength to be pithy.

This is not to suggest that this baby was unwanted. To the contrary, hubby and I were thrilled. A little taken aback, since we found out the day before our fabulous 2-week trip to visit friends in Bristol and Edinburgh (flying business class! here I thought I'd be chillin' sippin' wine and Bailey's the whole way there and instead...). I got permission from my doctor to enjoy one glass of Champagne at New Year's, sorta ironic considering I'd drunk my way through a staff holiday party, a number of parties and Christmas itself before we knew there was a zygote hanging on to my uterine wall by a thread. And so, full of new life and a strange sense of looming adulthood, I spent the two lovely weeks of car tours, food and castles growing more queasy by the minute.

I waited until we were back home in San Francisco before I started the puking that would rule my life for two months. Gosh that was fun. Nothing so enjoyable as throwing up a bowl of Cheerios when the milk's gone warm... and then following that with another 5 rounds of puking before you're just dry-heaving, bruises forming on your knees from the repeated pressure on the tile floor. Rinse and repeat! you didn't want to go to work anyway! You're much happier memorizing the daytime TV schedule!

Lucky for me there's actually a medication that's safe in early pregnancy, to help you get off the cycle of morning-my-ass sickness. But by the time it had been prescribed and kicked in, the ability to write was gone. I missed three official deadlines, and by missed I mean "attended the performance and have yet to write the review - and that was six months ago." Good thing that wasn't my real job. Thank god for accrued sick and vacation time, health insurance and a very understanding boss.

And now I'm due "any time now" which means I'll be pregnant for the rest of my life. due date's in 19 days. Will I make it? remains to be seen. Will this be the only blog I manage to post? almost certainly. Dare I hope that after baby comes I'll have the time for this? Probably not. But a girl can dream. And maybe this will end up being the lifeline connecting Mom Me to the Me I Was. Time will tell.

Side note: I'm watching the opening ceremonies of the Beijing Olympics. Trying really hard to ignore the hypocrisy in China claiming openness and unity, the disgusting smirk on Bush's stupid face as he applauds the Iraq Olympic team, and the fact that there are no female Saudi Arabian competitors. Other than all that, the performance part of the ceremony was completely mind-bogglingly gorgeous and unbelievably well choreographed and the Parade of Nations always brings tears to my eyes. I'm looking forward to this Olympics - it'll provide a nice distraction from the incredible pain and discomfort of the interminable final weeks of my third trimester.